a letter to my 17 year old self

a letter to my 17 year old self

dear carolynn

beautiful girl

haven't even begun

to make your way in this world

17 years young

and your mum's taken

the unpopular decision

to throw you a birthday barbecue

smack bang in the middle of your a-levels

and twenty two years later as you write this

you'll recognise in her a kindred rebel spirit


your uncle Jerome

just stuck his head around your bedroom door

and dangled a ginormous bag of weed

in front of you and your favourite four

and you're speechless but you love it

for the first time in your lifetime

you feel just a little bit cool

and you don't realise it yet

but that's a space you'll get used to

because you're on your way charles


- against all the odds you earned yourself a place

at salford university

200 miles from home and your mum

and your step dad and your mischievous uncle jerome

made it out of that wild childhood

survived days you never thought you could

and now all your dreams are about to come good

lover career home

children of your own

but first you'll walk down the street locking eyes with random guys

anxious not to let this thing called love pass you by

blissfully unaware that you've carried it within this whole time

for now you're finally emerging as *you*

and twenty two years later

you will be so fucking grateful

tgat you made the moves you had to


long before 2017 made it cool

using what you have

doing what you can

starting where you are

no way no how you can see ahead this far

still to this day discovering

who you are:

so much more than you believe yourself to be

taller than those skinny legs

smarter than those doubts in your head

and I won't tell you to shut them down

they’re a part of you now

they keep you humble

feet on the ground

but I will say sit with them

hear them out

converse with your soul

and work that shit out

you have lifetimes ahead of you girl

each one a decade

but don’t you dare make a single change

for I would not have you any other way

every step you take leading you to me

the woman you were born to be:

Charlie x

:what charlie wrote: 

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