Dear Charlie: is the honeymoon period over or am i getting the ick?

Dear Charlie: is the honeymoon period over or am i getting the ick?

A good friend - here’s looking at you LTH - once told me that we should  a l w a y s  trust our gut when it comes to the ick (a trending Gen Z phenomenon, conceived by the writers of Calista Flockhart’s character on the Ally McBeal show & brought to life in modern day pop culture by the cast of Love Island).

Getting the ick means abruptly experiencing an overwhelming aversion & sense of spiritual irritation towards someone, typically a romantic partner.

But how can we figure out exactly what our gut’s trying to tell us when there are other factors at play? Because a honeymoon period is the steamy, smokin H❤️‍🔥T beginning to a relationship that’s meant to last for a few months before we settle down into the nitty gritty of day to day life with our not-so-new-any-more-partner…

Or is it?

To be honest with the quality of dating in 2023 we’re lucky to even get a honeymoon period 🤣 plus I saw a TikTok the other day (yes I am that girl 🤣🤣) that made the case for avoiding the honeymoon honey trap & getting straight into the groove of a long term ‘ship without addictive honeymoon period dopamine hits.

I get where they were coming from, but I don’t love it.

So, here are my thoughts on how to tell if you’ve simply evolved from the honeymoon period of your relationship, or if your gut’s on point, something’s off & you really are getting the ick:

1: first up - you control the honeymoon period, the honeymoon period doesn’t control you. So if you can make a change & see a change there’s still life there 🫀
2: meditate on it - clear your head & see what your subconscious sends up - then trust your gut
3: consider the complicating factors that might be upping the ick & cutting the honeymoon short: mental wealth, underlying stressors, or something like ADHD, particularly in women, can have a huge impact on our attachment to honeymoon periods & the addictive dopamine hits that sustain us 💭
4: ask yourself the tough questions:
what am I running from?
what’s triggering me?
what would i want if i really believed i could have it?
5: take my advice - make three plans: one for this week, one for next week, one for next month & then write down 3 words that describe how you want to feel at the end of plan three.

When you get there: compare notes and move accordingly 🗺️

Whatever happens remember who you are and what you’re made of love, partnered up or single AF you are so much more than enough 👑💞

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